Monday, April 13, 2009

Dear Douchebag

Thank you so much for freeing me from your cocaine-fueled power trip. When you hired me eight months ago, I was confident that we would function as an incredible team. Unfortunately, your drug habit effectively squelched that notion. I should have seen it coming when you called out eight days in the first two months I was there.

Whether it was a car accident, that you got mugged, the airline lost your luggage, you were ‘sick,’ or you just couldn’t get your nose away from the mirror, I am simply grateful that I don’t have to deal with the excuses. I am glad that I went to HR about it and happy that HR is in the mire with you. Regardless, I got what I needed.

Fortunately for me, I am not trapped under the weight of an insane drug and alcohol problem and I have ideas that can be used outside the confines of my ego. Even if I don’t make $250,000 a year, I am much freer than you will ever be.

Friend of Bill W.