Dear Gail

Dear Gail,

I've wanted to write for some time now. I want to thank you for making sure I was fired by the firm formerly known as Milberg Weiss Bershad & Schulman. Since all the name partners ended up pleading guilty to a variety of charges (the only one who didn't was Milberg, and that's because he's dead), I can see that it truly was for the best. In fact, you did me a big favor. I can't imagine trying to find a job in this economy with such an albatross on my resume -- a firm that barely escaped indictment by the government for money laundering, etc., and was only rescued because Bershad cooperated with prosecutors so that the remaining partners (who, by the way, were in on the scam) could throw the surviving founder to the lions. (Nice business you people run.)

So thanks for giving me the boot well before the economy tanked. I'm now secure in a job at a REPUTABLE firm.

Lotsa luck. You're gonna need it!

Sincerely,

Crabby Appleton